What to do, where to go...

Attempting to express what my life seems to be like at the moment:
Me, sitting in a cozy chair feeling so blessed to have all that I have been given and yet the thoughts that are found within my brain is turning round and round with so many directions to choose to go, each direction identified with roads of every color of the rainbow including 3 shade of each color, and the end of each road offers two to three doors to open. Think of it as the scene from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when they are on the Wonka-tania boat and go inside the tunnel....that is my thoughts of life...Where am I to go from here?? 


There are so many things I want to do, experience...some may seem big and adventurous while others may be basic and every day life. Here is some below:


-Go on a mission trip
-Finally get my Georgia Teaching Certificate (so that I can finally apply for job opportunities of substituting)
-Continue exercising/spend time outdoors or at the gym
-Get a locker at the gym so I can more effectively spend my time there
-Read books (specifically one that I started August 2010 and finish it so I can start another one)
-Start using my sewing machine
-Finish organizing my "office" and getting everything settled
-Become needed/helpful/supportive to others
-Dress up like an oompa loompa for Halloween (I have wanted to ever since 7th or 8th grade)
-Daily be productive (to start up a beneficial routine)
-Attempt to decide if I would want to get a master's, when, where, and with what concentration (I love homes. Almost anything related. Renovation, Designing the Layout, Interior design (not just the fabric or wall color but also texture, appearance, ability to apply to every day life) and real estate. I just don't know if that is what is best for me, even though I often dream to have a job some how related to it.)
-To go to new and traditional travel places...
-To have a talent: ballet dancer, artists, author, organization founder, actress,


I guess it seems to be a fairytale being built up in my mind just waiting to burst, for me to do something with my life, or something that makes me feel valuable/appreciated. 


I'm not saying that I am not happy, its just that I think there could be so many things that could make me happier. It is hard seeing so many friends from childhood and even college to get new and exciting jobs, getting engaged, married, having kids, going to events and places with friends. Honestly the hardest part is that I am not really involved in any of the lives of the people that I used to call my friends. Not that it is completely their fault, it is just that some how we have drift apart. I worked on school work, and they spent time with each other as well as building new friendships. Now so many of my past friends attend each others weddings, spent nights together. Here I am watching almost every single Atlanta Braves baseball game from start to finish (except the 19-inning long one). While I wish I could do things that so many others are doing I am truly do enjoy watching the braves night after night, getting cozy on the coach to read books, and take naps, throw the ball for the family dog.


I suppose that when I spend a large amount of my time alone I look back to past times of my life that while they may have been awkward sometimes they made me feel needed, wanted. Although I have had different experiences before and after having my avm bleed. 


I am so blessed to have supportive parents that continue to provide such a large portion of my life. Food, shelter, transportation, types of entertainment, a cute and hairy companion (aka DOG), laundry machines, etc. I daily remind my self to be thankful for a life filled with so many blessings and yet it seems like something is missing or doesn't quite fit together the way that it should be. I sure do need to remind myself that God is my true satisfaction, that He knows everything, is in control of everything, guides my life and has the perfect path that He has set for me....and yet I want to either be approaching the path, or beginning another. It is hard to remain in one area and not know where you will be going next. 


Oh, the life of being a 23 year old recent college graduate. If you have actually read through my entire post I thank you and ask you to pray for me to become humbled and to rest peacefully with trust in the Lord and the future that he has prepared for me....even though I do not know what it contains or when He will offer it to me. Until then I will attempt to cherish the time of being able to sit, watch a braves game, and type up the strange thoughts that come out of my brain.